I’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’

Love’s Old Sweet Song by Linda Yvonne
CC BY 2.0

There are three surefire ways to not get published: 1) don’t write 2) don’t finish 3) don’t submit

Well, I’ve already f**ed up on number one, but I’m well on my way to acing number two, so number three is pretty much in the bag.

I knew that taking a break from Julia could be costly…once I left would I be able to get back into it? After all, I was running into problems and didn’t know how to finish some scenes. I figured that a NaNo break ending would be like a due date to my slacking off.

I only have a few hours of November left and I’m dreading December. I picked up the first five pages of Julia over the weekend and reread the intro. It’s what I’ll be reading at my writer’s group’s public reading (panic!), so I figured it would be a good way to get back into it. It’s the intro, it’ll suck me right in…or not.

Half of what I say is meaningless/But I say it just to reach you, Julia.

When I wrote it, when I took it to group, it was good, it was gripping. Now, eh.

How to rekindle that new story magic?

I’ll share what I learn in the coming month as I dive back in, but I’d love to hear your ideas and suggestions.

The End is Here!

2009 NaNoWriMo Winner Badge

And now, to put this story away and, hopefully, forget about the horrible ending and the horrible middle and the cringe-worthy scenes that knocked up my word count (*cough* talking to a Chicago cabbie about his mother’s love of English black pudding *cough*).

I will celebrate my success by going to sleep… perchance to dream of how to best resurrect Julia from her month long hiatus.

Zap: Procrastination!

ince it’s the day before Thanksgiving, we got off early from work. Instead of being a dedicated NaNo-er and knocking off some of my word count, I found ways to procrastinate. Mainly a) braving the grocery store (no so bad, actually) and b) playing around on Xtranormal, a site where you can make a mini animated movie.

I only recreated a forty second scene, but playing with the camera angles, facial expressions and hand movements was more fun than it should have been. I even threw in a disco twist at the end. The conversation could have taken a whole new turn after that, if only I’d let it.

Rather than sharing the scene with you, and I did think about it, I just played it a couple time for laughs and then deleted it (or rather, didn’t publish it). I didn’t think the world was ready for my big NaNo reveal. More like, I wasn’t ready for it.

I told my mom that I was doing on NaNo again this year and she promptly asked if she could read it. I generally waffle and try to put negative answers in as kind a light as I can, but before she even had the chance to finish her question I shouted “NO!”

There is one fellow NaNo-er who will get to see 2009’s version sans spit polish. It’s an exclusive club of one. And that club does not include my mother. Nor you, fair reader. I’m sorry.

Anyway, Xtranormal was a fun waste of too much time. And, after hearing American English Male 2 read the lines I’d written, I was able to add a few more words here and there. So, I guess I really was working on my word count after all.

Luckily, other people aren’t as gun shy as I am. Here’s Lazer Gun (not a NaNo piece as far as I know – although we could all learn a few word count tricks from his dialogue – but fun just the same). Enjoy.

Assway Ackwardsbay

Mr Magoo in Hi-Fi by kevindooley
CC BY 2.0

This past weekend, I had dinner with some people of an older generation. The talk turned to music and the inevitable “back in my day” rants began. Apparently, only in the 50s did singers actually sing so you could understand them. Only in the 50s did songs consist of more than three notes. I waited for a comment about wholesome subject matter but that didn’t come, luckily.

Throughout the conversation, I just smiled and nodded. There was no use in bringing up the fact that my high school years were punctuated with grunge. I think my audience would have sniffed or look at me with immense pity.

I know that one day I will look back at the glory days and proclaim, and rightly so, that my youth was the pinnacle of civilization and the world today is going to hell in a hand basket (although, I should probably update it to “hell in a backpack” or “hell in a messenger bag”). All punctuated with the proper fist flourish, of course.

Time is like the soft focus camera; it makes everything look pretty and lets ugliness fade into the background. Every era before ours was more cultured. Except for when it wasn’t, and then it was just quaint.

I recently picked up In the Best Families, a Nero Wolfe mystery by Rex Stout. The vernacular voice of the narrator is supposed to be somewhat street (for the 30s, when the Wolfe series began, or the 50s, when this book was written and set), but I found it to be a little campy. “This is the way it’s gonna play, see” type of thing. I’m sure it was thrilling writing or even edgy writing for the time, but reading it now, the style seems quaint. It’s not a more civilized time or more cultured, it’s just kind of funny.

Then, the narrator described something as “bassakwards.” I nearly fell out of my seat. Call me naive, but I really thought that faux pig latin to soften a faux bad word was relatively new.

Merriam-Webster claims the word doesn’t exist. But, according to the Urban Dictionary, bass ackwards is the correct spelling. The two given definitions go back to the early 2000s. Dictionary.com claims it is one word that originated in the 50s (hmm, about the same time as all that listen-able music) and is a “euphemistic spoonerism as alter. of assbackwards.” Why does “euphemistic spoonerism” make me laugh? 

Anyway…

In 2006, bass ackward appeared in a book title, a YA book title no less.

More recently, the faux bad word was used as the title of an explicit record.

A quick Amazon search found several more recent books (1995 to present) with bass ackwards in the excerpts…most having to do with terrible fish puns. Then Amazon served up 1939’s The Grapes of Wrath (with a hyphen, which, according to all the amazon excerpts, is the preferred spelling). Hmm, perhaps I should have paid more attention in Junior English. How did I miss that?

And the number of websites that use bassackwards in their URL…I’m astounded. I’d heard the word before, but I never knew how popular it was…or how old!

P.S. Assway ackwardsbay, the correct Pig Latin phrase according to this Pig Latin translator, just doesn’t have the same ring as bass ackwards.

The Wacker Side

As I was leaving work, this guy started caulking…

Rubbernecking

Train Wreck Point by jack a daniel
CC BY 2.0

Don’t you love it when things (not your things) go horribly awry? Pointing and laughing at other’s misfortune can make our day…yes, our horribly caddish and unfeeling day. Yes, I said our. That’s right, I’m dragging you into this.

Cakewrecks showcases icing disasters so horrible that I am disappointed when my grocery bakery doesn’t measure up.

Photoshop Disasters trained me to never look at any packaging the same again and, more sobering, helped provoke a national media debate on skinny models.

While I love both those wreck sites with abandon, I have an English major’s soft spot for Unnecessary Quotes. Oh, the double entendres that have kept me snickering in my cube…

I think Cakewrecks is a fairly accessible rubbernecking crash; Photoshop Disasters, less so (although it’s amazing what non-designers can pick up with a little practice). Unnecessary Quotes just shows my geekiness (also showcased in Typophile and The Blank Show).

But it’s good to know that there are others like me out there. Obviously there are the blog commenters,  but are also the people who stare at subway signs…as profiled in this New York Times article.

Ode

riter’s group again tonight. The person who wanted to read after my piece because she was falling asleep was back. In my earlier post, I vowed to be good, just and fair (or something like that). And I had every intention of doing just that, but then she passed out a poem.

I’m not good with poems. I’ve tried to critique them in the past, but it’s just better if I circle one or two striking phrases and leave it at that. It’s a half-assed critique, but it’s the best I can do. Really. In general, I either don’t get poetry or don’t like it. So I just keep quiet.

And I kept quiet tonight.

I’m sure this person didn’t notice or particularly care. But I wanted to prove that I wasn’t bitter. And that is really hard to do without talking.

The Grass Is Greener

The Grass was Green by nicolasnova
CC BY 2.0

Writer’s group is this week and I’m on the docket to bring something to be critiqued. I’ve devoted this month to Nano and that is certainly not being shown to anyone (at least not in its present form), so I decided to pull out a piece of Julia that the group hasn’t seen yet. It’s going back in time a little, but I don’t think that will be a problem.

The problem is that, well, it sucks. It was awesome when I wrote it. The scene moved the plot forward, added a layer of complexity, expanded upon the character and, damn, was it good writing. Well, now, not so much. I don’t know whether it’s the distance or if it’s the fact that I’m writing a new project, but now I think it’s only OK. I don’t see any rich language and some of it is repetitious and should be cut. I realize this is the point of writer’s group and editing, but it was still a little disheartening.

I tend to polish before I let others read my work…even before I take it to writer’s group. Although, I’ve been polishing less for group lately. I can’t decide if that’s a good thing or a lazy thing.

Usually I suffer from the grass is greener syndrome. That story, the one that I’m not working on, is so much better than the drivel I’m actually working on. But this time, the syndrome seems flipped. The story I am working on, while the writing itself is bad as only a Nano can be, the story and the characters are so much more interesting and worthy than what I’m not working on. And the not-being-written-on story is quickly fading in my esteem.

I had a feeling that breaking my Julia momentum would cause some problems. I just have to figure out how to regain that momentum in December.

In January, my writer’s group is having a public reading. I had planned on reading the beginning of Julia. The reading itself, if I ignore the nausea I feel when I think about reading aloud, might be a good way to rev myself back up.

And The Winner Is…

by Milnivr http://www.flickr.com/photos/milnivri/ / CC BY 2.0

 

30 Rock (and three charities)!

So, I never got a better idea than charity as murder/victim and abandon my chance at TV stardom via ChariTV.

Entry closed, votes were tallied and all three winners of the ChariTV contest based their entries on the show 30 Rock.

There were over 150 entries. A few days before the entries closed, there was some bemoaning that there weren’t very many video entries…yet two of the three winners were videos (see winner and runner up). I didn’t see the non-video, third place winner. If anyone can find it, leave it in comments. I really liked the winner and runner up and think they would make great episodes.

Update: Read/view the finalists here.

Idunit

was on my way into work this morning when I finally did it. I figured out who the killer is (in my NaNo)! No symphony or lightening strike, just a simple “huh, that could work” and a shrug.

Armed with the knowledge of the killer and a tenuous grasp on the why of it, I thought writing tonight’s word count would be a breeze. Alas, NO!

It’s like my brain said: Oh, OK. He did it. Interesting. Good night.

I hate week two.

20,500 down…a million to go.